Chris and Dave

My name is David I’m an ex meth addict.

I have 1487 days clean and sober as of January 27, 2007. This is my story of where I’ve been and where I am in my life today at 40 years old.

Life started out as normal as normal could be. My father was a helicopter pilot in Vietnam, and my mom had the job of raising my brother and I which had to be two jobs in it self. My father came back from Vietnam an alcoholic. In 1972 my father was murdered by his drinking buddy, I was 5 years old at that time.

From about the age of 12 to 19 I was running away in and out of juvenile institutions and foster homes and finally landed myself in Oregon State prison. During those 6 years of running I used crank, alcohol, marijuana, acid, mushrooms and who knows what else. At the time I didn’t realize that I was trying to cover up the pain from my father’s death, being molested by the neighbor, and being beaten by foster parents. But now I realize I tried to escape all the pain through my use.

About age 18, out of the blue, I got a call from an ex girlfriend. She told me that she was about 7 months pregnant, and the baby was mine. I didn’t want the child to go down the road I went down, so I thought I would do the right thing. It didn’t last very long I was still wrapped up in my addiction with meth and immaturity.

Not long after that I met a girl who already had 2 kids, a 6 month old and a 1½ year old. Once again I jumped into something I had no business getting into and tried to save the day. I got married and adopted her 2 children. We ended up having 2 more children. They are the best thing that I got out of the whole marriage. During those 11 years of marriage I used meth and alcohol on and off. I built a successful pallet company from scratch. I thought I was on top of the world, but really I wasn’t. In fact, what I didn’t realize is that, I was about to be on the bottom of it. The relationship was never going to work, and my use wasn’t working either. I filed for divorce and ended up losing it all, children and business.

From 1999 to 2003, life was a living hell!

My use escalated from what I thought was manageable use to down right destruction. I tried to pull it together for the next 3¾ years, starting 2 more companies and watching them go as fast as I built them. One day I just snapped, I called my oldest son to tell him goo bye but only got a voice mail so I left him a message telling him I loved him. What I didn’t know is that his mother got the message and called 911. When the police got to my house I barricaded myself in the bathroom took about 250 antidepressants. The EMT’s got me out of the house and to the emergency room where they told my mother that they would have to wait and see if I would pull out of it or not, obviously I did. It wasn’t long before I was off and running again, full ahead.

The meth had full control, I didn’t care about my kids, my mother, or anybody, not even myself. Deep down inside all I really wanted to do is die, but I didn’t have the guts to blow my brains out. I went from a user to a dealer to a manufacturer. I was on the run from one end of the United States north & south, to east & west. My thinking was far from normal. My body was just to the point of total shut down.

On April 13, 2003, I left Washington on a bus for Waldport, Oregon.

I had warrants for assault in Salem, Oregon but I didn’t care. I had in mind to go to the


coast to take these two guys that had turned me in before up into the mountains and shoot them. When we were on our way up to the forestry road we stopped by the tavern before going up. I was dressed in full camouflage with a change of clothes under them. I had two guns and meth in the truck in a backpack. A few minutes later the sheriff pulled up and asked for ID. I told them I didn’t have any and told them I was someone else. The two guys I was with told the officers who I really was.

They turned me around and tried to handcuff me but I resisted, pushed the officer down and took off running over a balcony (see me pointing to it in the photo below) and jumped three stories into the ocean. That night it was a negative tide and I hit the rocks head first.


I was so high I got up running and dove into the ocean and started swimming. As I recall it was about 10pm. The current started to pull me further and further from shore. Eventually, I washed up on the rocks around the mouth of the inlet.



I was freezing cold and could barely move. Although I was soaking wet freezing cold and bleeding from my head and hands, all I could think about was the baggie of meth in my pocket. I remember my hands were so cold that I could not open it so I ate the bag and all. Once again just to stop the pain. I must have been lying on the shore for 6 hours or so because the sun was just starting to rise. I got up and started to make my way north up the coast line back to Waldport, running thru brush and briars, hiding behind homes, and wading thru creeks and up the river trying not to be found by the sheriff. About 9pm that night I made it back to the trailer where I was staying with friends and where my clothes and meth was. The only thing I could think about was getting “high,” not my injuries eating or the fact that I knew that the sheriff would probably find me soon. I hadn’t slept for weeks and wasn’t about to now.

 

I think I knew deep down inside that I had finally come to the end of my rope. We proceeded to do a half ounce of meth in less than an hour, what else did I have to lose, I had lost it all anyway!

Not long after, about 10 or 11pm, there was a knock on the door, I knew it was the sheriff. I didn’t answer the door I reached into the sink grabbed a butcher knife went to the bathroom and barricaded myself in. They stormed the house, and told me to come out with my hand where they could see them.

As more officers stormed the house I proceeded to take all of the medication from the bathroom cabinet and began to swallow it as fast as I could while yelling at them to “get out I have a gun”! I had taken approximately 400 pain killers, antidepressants, and other assorted pills. At that time they had called in the less than lethal unit and unloaded about five cans of pepper spray after kicking the door in. I sat in the bath tub with the knife to my chest, staring at all the guns in the doorway washing my face so I could see and breath long enough for the pills to take affect. I was holding myself hostage, yelling “Just shoot me I can’t Stop the Pain”. After 45min I negotiated for a cigarette, they pulled me out of the bathroom and sat me on the front porch were I proceeded to go into convulsions and throwing up some of the pills and blood. They immediately called for an ambulance. I don’t remember much after that except for waking up at the hospital, handcuffed to the bed without any clothes on. By the grace of God I pulled out of it once more. I am not sure how long I was there until they transported me to the Lincoln County Jail.


Dave Waller and Officer Dorsey, Lincoln County

I was booked in on April 14, 2003. I don’t remember any of that except when I woke up days later in solitary confinement on suicide watch. April 14, 2003 was the beginning and start of my new life clean and sober. I was sentenced to 4 months jail time for 2 counts of felony assault on police officers, felony escape, and false information and menacing. It wasn’t a lot of time for my crime but there must have been a reason I didn’t know of yet. Finally I had a chance to get my mind clear & get somewhat healthy, both spiritually and mentally. While incarcerated, I got involved in church and AA/NA meetings, and quit isolating myself like I did in the past.

Deborah Johnson, Corrections Officer (left), Dave Waller (center) and Gus Willemin, Alcohol and Drug Counselor (right)

A couple of months later I was given the opportunity by Officer Deb Johnson to enroll in a program called S.A.I.L-Successful Achievement In Living. I attribute my success to her and all of the other facilitators in that program. If it wasn’t for their caring and desire to see good in everyone, I know I would not be where I am today.

The programs consisted of “A Framework for Breaking Barriers, by Gordon Graham & Co.”, “Building Better Dads” by Officer Deb Johnson”, “Alcohol/Drug Education “by Gus Willemin, M.A. By following through with cognitive change I am able to break the cycle and come to terms with anything that life sends my direction. Life is all about choices! If it’s to be, it’s up to me! I completed the SAIL program #35 on August 8th 2003.

Lincoln County Sheriff Dennis L. Dotson
and Dave Waller, Newport, Oregon. Dave
completed successfully the S.A.I.L. Program
Class #35 at the Lincoln County Jail, August
8, 2003.

Shortly after completing that I was transported to Salem, Oregon to spend my time for the two assault charges on two guys that I had beat up over drugs. While in Marion County Jail I continued to better myself with more programs that would prepare me for the day I was released. After Salem I was transported to Thurston County Washington for about a month then released. Upon release I went into transitional housing for a couple of weeks, then on to getting my own place. I immediately enrolled myself into the Eugenia Center, a one year intensive outpatient treatment program, in December 2003 and graduated December of 2004.


Eugenia Center, Chehalis, WA: Charlene Fisher, Director, Eugenia Center (left), Dave Waller and Sue Spencer, Administrative Clerk, Eugenia Center (right). Dave completed a One-Year Intensive Outpatient Treatment Program, Dec. 1, 2004.

I continue to participate there to date because I feel that recovery is a full time job. It’s not just some thing you do for a year and you’re cured. It is a life long project and I know that’s what it takes for me.

During a state prevention summit in Yakima, I met my fiancé Chris. It was nice to meet someone who had the same passion and has never used before. December 27 2004, Chris and I returned to the court room of Judge Huckleberry in Lincoln County, Oregon, upon which I was terminated from my probation one year early. It was a great feeling to have a judge shake your hand and say congratulations and let you know how proud he is of you.

Robert J. Huckleberry, Presiding Judge, 17th Judicial District, Newport, Oregon (Lincoln County) congratulates Dave Waller

Today I am actively involved in prevention, awareness and recovery programs throughout my community. CHANGE is sometimes hard for people but I feel that everyone deserves a chance in life; God knows I have had mine. If you haven’t seen the movie “Pay It forward” you need to and then you will understand my Passion.

"If I walk off the planet tomorrow and I spent a billion dollars and it helped one person it would be worth it." Dave Waller